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Jokes "doing the rounds"

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Fri Mar 18, 2022 9:18 am

Latest post of the previous page:

A person living in Germany wants to take a holiday in Great Britain and wonders if they should go by car, by plane or by train. They decide to practice driving on the left side on an autobahn.

After ten minutes they decide - definitely no car!
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Wed Mar 23, 2022 12:21 pm

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Sun Mar 27, 2022 2:46 pm

Q. Which part of the body is the last to die?

A. Click below to find out.
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Sun Mar 27, 2022 11:45 pm

I saw a car driving down the road yesterday driven by a sheep in a swimsuit. It was a Lamb Bikini.
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Fri Apr 01, 2022 9:36 pm

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Sorry, Dave! ;)
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Fri Apr 01, 2022 11:31 pm

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'As soon as the Redundancy Manager arrives I'm off. He's not down here is he?'
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Sat Apr 02, 2022 12:01 am

He's in Australia, so you've got a lot of digging to do. :lol:
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Sun Apr 03, 2022 5:25 pm

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Fri Apr 08, 2022 11:34 pm

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If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Sat Apr 23, 2022 11:03 pm

Good news!

Scientists have found a way to make trains run on parsley.

Now they're looking for a way to make them run on thyme!
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Sun Apr 24, 2022 11:24 am

Two cats are having a swimming race.

One is called “One two three”, the other “Un deux trois”. Which cat won?
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Sat Apr 30, 2022 11:43 pm

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Wed May 04, 2022 9:02 pm

Two for the price of one:

Q : Why don’t polar bears eat penguins?
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Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a tatol mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Fri May 13, 2022 8:02 pm

In Jamaica, an apple pie costs 3 dollars. In Cuba, an apple pie costs 4 dollars.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Thu Jun 09, 2022 4:01 pm

I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church.

Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskies and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

When the priest came in, I said to him, "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must say that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

He replied, "You moron, you're on my side."
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Fri Jun 17, 2022 7:36 pm

Doctor to patient: “So you are telling me you can’t hear in one ear. Are you sure?”
Patient: “Yes. I’m definite.”
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