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Jokes "doing the rounds"

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Sat Dec 31, 2022 11:27 pm

Latest post of the previous page:

As Christmas fades away here are a few Christmas cracker jokes.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Because every play has a cast.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?"
What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? A cocker-poodle boo.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7-8-9.
What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Bison.
Why don’t we see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Sun Jan 08, 2023 11:21 am

David Beckham's 2nd son arrived at training for Brentford, he asked the coach "What number shirt am I?"

The coach said "Wear four out there Romeo…”
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Fri Jul 14, 2023 11:07 pm

Two robbers hold up a liquor store. One of them picks up a bottle and asks, "is this whisky?!". The other one replies "Well not as whisky as wobbing a bank".
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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Sat Jul 15, 2023 10:35 am

I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said: ‘I bet I know what your favourite Christian festival is.’ He said: ‘You have to love Easter, baby.
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Sun Oct 15, 2023 9:12 pm

I saw this on the side of our refuse collection vehicle on Thursday, but when I went to NatWest with a bag full of bottles on Friday, they told me they only collect money. :(

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Thu Oct 19, 2023 12:22 pm

I got in line to watch Oppenheimer around lunchtime, but I realized it was three hours long and I was starving.
So I went to the Barbie queue instead.
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Sat Dec 23, 2023 10:14 pm

Breaking news!
A pantomime dame was attacked on stage last night.
A police spokesman said ‘ to be fair the audience did try to warn him’
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by boatbuilder » Sun Dec 24, 2023 8:54 pm

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Re: Jokes "doing the rounds"

Post by Dave » Mon Mar 11, 2024 12:06 pm

To the person that asked if Somerleyton is a good place to live......I would say yes.
It only takes 5 or 10 minutes to walk to the pub from almost anywhere in the village. It does however take about 20 minutes to walk back. The difference is staggering!
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.

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